i need words...

as wide as sky

i need a language large as

this longing inside

i need a voice

bigger than mine

i need a song to sing You

that i've yet to find

i need You...

now that my summer has slowed down, i've had some time to process everything that's happened in the past...say 15 months...and honestly, i'm not sure i can describe it.  perhaps it would be best to keep it simple.  this will probably be the least eloquent post ever.

about 15 months ago, i committed myself to pursuing fashion as a career.  15 months later, i've sent in my tuition deposit to the best fashion school in the country.  seriously...HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!

15 months ago, as i had minimal experience in all 3 fields of fashion sketching, sewing, and textiles that were needed to produce a competitive portfolio.  by january, i had sent in a portfolio that which included fashion sketches and photos of complete garments i had sewn myself, all with fabric swatches that indicated the type of fabric i used or intended to use with each garment or sketch. by june, i had received my acceptance letter from FIT.  the whole time, i was both elated and scared to death.  i'm still both elated and scared to death, because honestly, the hard part has just begun.

simply put, I AM SCARED OF FAILURE.  sometimes, i'm more scared than elated.  i thought i had never wanted anything else in my life more strongly than this.  and God made me wait longer than usual for the answer to my prayers--while most people received their decision letters in april, mine didn't arrive until june.  and in the past 4 or so months, God reminded me that there are infinitely more important things in life than this.  and i have no hesitation in proclaiming that He is right.

on the whole, the past 15 months probably qualify as the most wonderful period of my life so far, not just because of this, but also because of the relationships i have been so privileged to have been a part of.  the Lord is good.

Lord Jesus, thank you for being too wonderful for words.